搞笑英語名言
1、自從放了暑假，我就把早餐給戒了。
Since the summer vacation， I have breakfast to quit。
2、不是兄弟不是人，實在是嫂子太迷人。
Not brothers， is sister-in-law too attractive。
3、我對作業不仁不義，作業對我不離不棄。
I am righteous man homework， homework for me。
4、我就是巴黎歐萊雅，你值得擁有！
I am the l 'oreal Paris， you're worth it！
5、瞧我這記性，又把你當人看了。
Look， I this memory， and when people look at you。
6、橫溢的不只是才華，還有腰間的脂肪。
Talent is not only of， and the fat around his waist。
7、自從見到你妹，你這兄弟我交定了。
From see you younger sister， you this brother I make a deal。
8、發呆這事做得好是深沉，做不好就睡着了。
A daze it is a good thing to do is deep， do not fall asleep。
9、流量強姦了話費，生下了一個孽種叫停機。
Traffic raped， gave birth to a origin called downtime。
10、別人都說我很胖，其實我只是瘦的不明顯。
People say I'm fat， in fact I just thin is not obvious。
11、穿低胸裝還拿手擋着，太沒公德心了。
Wear low-cut outfit also blocked with specialty， too not public-spiritedness。
12、暗戀是成功的啞劇，說出來就成了悲劇！
Unrequited love is successful pantomime， say it is a tragedy！
13、我也想好好學習啊，可是一回家電腦就勾引我。
I also want to study well， but a home computer can seduce me。
14、女子無才便是德，我想我一定是太缺德了。
Innocence is the virtue for women。 I think I must be too wicked。
15、牀，你放開我，不要這樣子，我還要上學哇。
Bed， you let me go， don't like this， I have to go to school wow。
16、在這個考試月裏，都不要直呼我的姓名，請叫我過兒。
In this test months， don't call my name， please call me lead son。
17、成績你就是個賤人，總是挑撥我們和爸媽的關係。
Performance is a bitch， you always provoke our relationship with my parents。
18、爲什麼別人看到我就想吐啊，是不是因爲我太帥了。
Why do others see I just want to vomit， is it because I'm too handsome。
19、總覺得自己的性格不適合上班，只適合拿工資。
Always feel that his character is not suitable for work， only suitable for wages。
20、麻麻說我叛逆期怎麼整她，她更年期就怎麼整我。
Mommy said I how rebellious period the whole her， her menopause I gonna get it。
21、最有魄力的是康師傅，每天都有成千上萬的人泡他。
Is the most vigorous tingyi， tens of thousands of people every day he。
22、不是我不想當淑女，而是這世界把老孃逼成了潑婦！
Not I don't want to be a lady， but this world drove the old niang became a bitch！
23、看到你我連食慾都沒了，還談什麼性慾？
See I appetite is gone， are you still talking about sexual desire？
24、睡眠是一門藝術，誰也無法阻擋我追求藝術的腳步！
Sleep is an art， no one can stop my pursuit of artistic footsteps！
25、你若安好，便是晴天，按這天氣看來，你應該是掛了。
If you well， is sunny days， according to the weather， you should be hung up。
26、剪了短髮不一定是女王，也有可能是女神經。
Is not necessarily the queen hair cut short， it is possible that the female nerve。
27、我希望在有生之年，趕上新聞聯播的大結局。
Over the course of his life， I hope to catch up with the news broadcast finale。
28、人的桃花運，跟生理週期一樣，都是一陣一陣的。
The romantic life， like physiological cycles， is a burst of。
29、解釋就是掩飾，掩飾就是不老實，不老實就是欠收拾！
Explanation is conceal， conceal is dishonest， dishonesty is owe to pack！
30、就算再想哭，也要微笑着說一句：你大爺的！
Even if again want to cry， also want to said with a smile： you big ye of！
31、如果有一天，我嫁不出去，請把我埋在，非誠勿擾裏。
If one day， I unmarriageable， please bury me in， if you are the one。
32、各位女同事，請不要對我放電，我老婆有來電顯示。
Everyone colleague， please don't discharge to me， my wife has a caller id。
33、韓國整容，泰國人妖，其實都比不過中國的美圖秀秀。
South Korean cosmetic， Thailand freak， in fact is better than the Chinese beauty picture show。
34、保護自己，愛護他人，請不要半夜出來嚇人。
Protect yourself， take good care of others， please don't come out in the middle of the scary。
35、月老，能別再用劣質的紅線幫我牽線了嗎，尼瑪，隔三差五就斷。
Joking that can stop using inferior to the red line matchmaking to help me， nima， it regularly。
36、我曾經跟一個人無數次的擦肩而過，衣服都擦破了，也沒擦出火花。
I've passed countless people， clothes are creased， didn't also sparks。
37、暑假作業我已經攤在陽臺上了，颱風你自己看着辦吧。
Summer vacation homework I already stand on the balcony， the typhoon do it at your own will。
38、穿別人的鞋走別人的路，讓別人既找不到鞋又找不到路。
Wear other's shoes walk others road， let others find shoes and can't find the way。
39、長得帥的踢鍵子都帥，長得醜的打高爾夫都像在鏟屎。
Grow handsome kicking shuttlecocks are handsome and ugly play golf like shit in the shovel。
40、數學老師帶我們在題海中遨遊，結果她上岸了，我們全都淹死了。
Math teacher took us to roam in the crowd， as a result， she landed， we were all drowned。
41、每次跟別人吵完架，等躺在牀上的時候，才知道當時應該怎麼罵。
Every time after the quarrel with others， when lying in bed， just know how to scold at that time。
42、早上起牀我以爲我一夜之間長高了，結果才發現是我被子蓋橫了。
In the morning I thought I grown overnight， the results found that is my quilt cover cross。
43、如果多吃魚可以補腦讓人變聰明的話，那麼我至少得吃一對兒鯨魚。
If eat fish can let a person become wise for brain， so I have to eat at least one pair of whales。
44、小時候，我最喜歡玩捉迷藏，等別人藏好了，我就回家吃飯。
When I was young， I most like to play hide and seek， wait for others to hide， I will go home for dinner。
45、老天爺，你能把這幾天要下的雨存儲起來嗎，等到軍訓時再還我！
God， can you put this several days to be stored under the rain， by the time the military training will be me！
46、世界上最痛苦的事就是從上課憋尿憋到下課，結果老師還拖堂。
The most painful thing in the world is from suppress piss in class to class， the result teacher also finish。
47、別老看AV，你也不看看鍵盤上，字母A和V後面分別是什麼。
Don't look at the AV， you don't look at the keyboard， what is behind the letters A and V， respectively。
